If I lived my life bogged down in regret, I would have never made it past a Texas highway somewhere between Conroe and Converse. I have regrets...don't get me wrong. I just try not to dwell on them.
Still, I find my mind wandering some days. Questioning. Pondering. Asking myself those two little words that will drive you crazy.
What if?
What if my life had turned out differently? What if I had made this decision, and not that one? What if I had never met him, or him, or you, for instance? What if?
An insistent, nagging little gnat that will eat at your brain until you want to bang your head on concrete or rip your heart out to make it stop filling your chest with such an unbearable ache. I hate doubting myself. I hate yearning for things that cannot be....or cannot be changed.
I hate "What if?"
About Me
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- ma_belle
- Novice Blogger, Mother, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Friend, and Educator
2 comments:
I don't know "what if" you are referring to today, but knowing you and knowing me, I will put good money down to bet that we are What IFing about the same thing. My sistah.
OMG, it had been so long since you blogged that I forgot this last entry. I think I might have PLAG-er-IZED your blog. Except, I said that I like the what if......sorry.
Write more, hooker.
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